November 19, 2016

First sono (yesterday)

We have only one sac but I'll take it! Everything seems on schedule. I go back in two weeks-
December 2nd for my last appointment with my fertility doctor then I'll graduate to my regular ob. We were able to see the yolk sac but no heartbeat yet which is fine bc it's still early.
-Im so relieved and thankful! 5weeks and 5 days๐Ÿ’•

November 17, 2016

What a reminder

So Facebook just reminded me that on this day two years ago I was going in for my frozen transfer of my last embryo from my 2012 cycle.

It simply said "Please pray for The Hill family today as we really need positive vibes".
I knew right away what that post was for. I had so much hope. Then a mere two hours before I was set to have my transfer I received the call that my last embryo did not survive the thaw. Omg the devastation was unreal. Just a week before Thanksgiving. I thought we'd never be able to afford to do this again.

Now exactly two years later I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant. Look at God๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

November 9, 2016

Beta #2

Beta #2 is in! It's 703!!!!!! It more than doubled! Only 20 points from tripling!!!!!
Since my betas have been great that'll be my last one-
Now straight to sonos๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ
Early sono is next Friday at 10am to check for sac (might be one or two ๐Ÿ˜ฑ). It'll be too early for heartbeat of course . Heartbeat sono will be two weeks later-

November 7, 2016

Positive Beta!!!

Got my results from blood test today
My Beta was 241 at 13dpt๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†
Dr wanted anything over 50!
Avery-Harper's first beta was 120!
I'm very pregnant! Ha ha
Next check is Wednesday!

November 2, 2016

When a child prays and wishes...

 At the mall last month and she saw a little girl throwing coins into this fountain. She asked me about it and I explained that she could make a wish then toss her coin and it might come true. Then this transpired. My God look at the hope on her face! I asked her what she wished for and she said for a baby sister! (tears)

 Wish made and coin tossed

Looks like her wish (and ours) came true! 8dpt with two frozen 3day old embryos
Beta is on Monday at 8:30am but I tested today, Wednesday afternoon and got a positive!!

Random Pics

my two supporters heading upstairs for another dr appointment

Progesterone patch that I have to change every 4 days

Pics of Transfer Day 10/25/16

October 29, 2016

What I'm feeling right now-

A lot of tinges and most nights I have a stomach ache-
I'm taking it as a good sign. I recall having the same type of tinges and sharp pains with Avery-Harper. Also the other day I got a wee bit dizzy! I didn't really think about it until I read a post from another recent transferee today in the IVF group. Again I'm taking that as a good sign.

Found this cool timeline of what's going on inside of me right now-

Days past transfer  Embryo Development
1The embryo continues to grow from a 6-8 cell embryo into a morula (16-64 cells)
2The cells of the morula continue to divide, developing into a blastocyst (70-100 cells)
3The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell  
4The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
5The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation  
6Implantation continues 
7Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetal cells begin to develop  
8Placenta cells secrete human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) into the blood stream  
9Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted 
10Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted 
11Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy on HPT.
GO TEST!! (if you haven't already...)


October 26, 2016

Transfer was yesterday-

My oh my what a day it was! Well due to the fact that I misread an email, all yesterday morning I was expecting a call to let me know whether the embryos survived the thaw.

If you recall in 2014 I got to this point at the end of my FET and two hours before my transfer I received a call that my one and only embryo didn't survive the thaw. Devastated would be an understatement.

So needless to say I was waiting on pins and needles all morning for a phone call. By 11am I still hadn't received it and thawing began at 9am per my email. I was a nervous freaking wreck. However I proceeded forward with my plans of taking my daughter to ballet and my friend was meeting is there to watch her and take her to play until we were back home.

By 11:20 I couldn't handle anymore! I didn't want to call bc I remember not hearing anything the last time so I called and was told they'd call if there was a problem. Minutes later the call I received was devastating.

Nevertheless I called anyway. Spoke to my nurse and was like NO ONE HAS CALLED ME! I'm set to be there in an hour!!!! She was like no news is good news!!! ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ Then she says wait here comes an embryologist so I'll ask to make sure. She did and everything was a go! I swear I immediately became 50lbs lighter!!!!! SO RELIEVED!!!!

So we went up there. The doctor said everything looked great. One embryo lost a few cells but it had so many to start with that we were fine. He said hey we're rated A's and that I was at a 1 for easiness on the transfer scale bc my uterus was easily accessible. It was quick and painless like I remembered and I was tilted upward after for about 20 minutes. These next few days I'll be resting. I'm so relived to have gotten this far.

I'm officially PUPO ( pregnant until proven otherwise) lol
I have a blood test on November 7th but I'll probably test before then so I can be emotionally prepared. Thank you God for getting us this far! Praying I can give my baby girl healthy sibling(s)!

October 19, 2016

Transfer here I come!!

Just leaving my dr everything looks good! He wanted my lining to at least be at 7.5 and it was at 14.51!!!! My transfer is next Tuesday (10/25) at noon! Then I'll be on bed rest a couple of days-

Praying these beans stick!!!

October 9, 2016

My FET drugs

FET drugs-
Let's see for now I'm taking Estradiol twice a day and wearing an progesterone patch which I change every 3 days.

I also have Progesterone Cream, progesterone pills, antibiotic and Medrol which I'll take later in the protocol-

In addition to those prescribed meds I take one baby aspirin once a day and blood pressure pills twice a day.

 All my meds
 All my meds
Minivelle Patch

October 5, 2016


I'm so excited I'm near tears! Damn emotions๐Ÿ˜’
FET prep has officially started today! Went in for my baseline sono this morning and received my med chart-

Started my estradiol and estrogen patch today.
I still had Endometrin (Crinone), progesterone pills (prometrium) and medrol left over from my fresh cycle meds which I'll take later in this FET protocol.  I had to also purchase doxycycline to start later as well. I will be continuing with my baby aspirin and prenatals daily.

Tentative transfer date is October 25th!

October 3, 2016

Time to get started!

Well my cycle came two days earlier than I thought it would! Called my dr today and they want me to come in Wednesday morning for my baseline sono! I'll also start my meds that day! I'm so excited! Transfer should be at the end of the month!

I was told I'd be on progesterone pills and progesterone patches. Plus continue taking my prenatals and baby aspirin of course. I'm so ready!

September 27, 2016

Endo Scratch Completed

Well I had my Endometrin Scratch yesterday and it was not pleasant.
It was highly uncomfortable but quick like 5 minutes or so-
I came home right after and pretty much stayed in bed all day. Enjoyed a nap and just took it easy. I had light bleeding which ceased within an hour or so-
I understand why they don't put you under for something like that but at the same time it was really uncomfortable, intimidating and I found it hard to relax.
I'm just glad it's over! Now I'm just waiting until my cycle starts and then I go back to the doctor on cycle day3 for a baseline check and I'll start my progesterone and progesterone patches! I'm so excited to move forward-

September 13, 2016

Estimated Infertility Tally-

I'm trying to keep a running tally of everything we've paid for during this infertility journey.
I'm thinking from 2009-date we've spent about 50k over 8 years. That includes doctor visits, IVF fees, meds for 3 cycles (2 fresh IVF and 1 FET), 2 failed IUIs, 3 surgical procedures (laposcrophy, polypectomy and  hysteroscopy), 1 IVF (successful), 1 failed FET (embryo didn't survive the thaw) and 2 Endometrin scratches.

That also includes this process of our 2nd fresh IVF where we added ICSI.

September 10, 2016

Endometrin Scratch Date Set

Endo scratch is set for 9/26/16 at 11am-
No anesthesia and it should only take about 5 minutes then I'm out the door!
So excited....

September 5, 2016

AF has arrived-

Well 12 days after my egg retrieval my cycle finally started this morning-Now I get to call my doctor tomorrow to see when I do my endo scratch. I'm glad to moving forward. I was wondering how long it would take to start. It's really hard not to be anxious. I'm just ready to have my transfer so I can finally have a resolution soon-

Endo Scratch Anyone?

I've decided to get an Endometrin Scratch before my October transfer in hopes that it will increase my chances for a successful embryo(s) implantation. During my first IVF (for Avery-Harper) they found a polyp during my trial transfer so I had a polypectomy weeks before my transfer. My doctor said he'd go ahead and do an endo-scratch while he was in there in hopes that the tackiness that occurs when it heals would help with implantation. Now I have no way of knowing if it did but I figured why not try again. I want to do everything I can to increase my chances bc this is it! I'm praying so hard that I'm able to give Avery-Harper a healthy sibling or siblings. I don't want to have any regrets this last go round.

Best described as being similar to a smear test, an endometrial scratch involves a quick scrape of your womb lining at a certain point in your cycle. The promising research suggests it could improve embryo implantation, especially if you’ve had failed IVF attempts before. You can have a scratch before fertility treatment with your own eggs, donor eggs or frozen embryos.
How does it work? Well, endometrial scratching seems to provoke a reaction within the inner lining of the womb. Hormones and chemicals are released to help the lining repair itself. A genetic trigger response to an endometrial scratch may give the implantation ‘green light’. In essence, the temporary injury seems to make the endometrium more receptive to an embryo. That means a better chance of a pregnancy and a live birth.

August 31, 2016

Vacation CANCELLED ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Soooooooooooo throughout this very long process Ive had an anniversary trip already planned and paid for-
Not until yesterday (20 days before vacay) when I was on a play date, my friend asked where we were going and I said Playa Mujeres, Mexico. She turned totally white and was like "even with the Zika"!!!!!!
My God! I never thought about Zika this entire time.
I told my husband we had to cancel. I called my RE and my OB for their opinions as well, both suggested I cancel.
After all of the stress with this protocol and with the constant setbacks, I REALLY needed that vacay! But no way in the shit I'm risking anything-

Oh well......I can travel anytime but it's obvious that I can not have a baby anytime I want.

So far for this protocol I had to:
Cancel our Staycation at Great Wolf with our friends
Cancel our trip to Houston for our great niece's birthday
Cancel our Mexico vacation
Miss my nephew's birthday party
Miss our friends' 10 year Anniversary party

There's gotta to be a big blessing in store for us right?๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ

August 27, 2016

Way to go TERRIFIC TWO!!!


I just got the call that my "terrific two" grew beautifully and made it to day 3 freeze with no problems. Hallelujah ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

I did ask her (the embryologist) why day 3 freeze and she said the same thing as my doctor. Our natural bodies are the best environment for the embryo so there is no need to wait to day 5. Especially being that I only had two embryos. You chance losing viable healthy embryos by stretching it when it's not even necessary (her words). She also said even if my transfer would have been fresh I'd still be doing it today on day 3 to give the embaby the best chance.

So now we wait until my cycle after the next one to start FET prep.

I'm so relieved!!! Thank you Jesus!!!

August 25, 2016

From 4 to 2

Just got the call that my "final four" are now my "terrific two".  3 matured, 2 fertilized with ICSI and the other one fertilized on it's own. The one that fertilized on its own was abnormal. So now I wait till Saturday to see if they make it to freeze. Still holding out hope-

August 24, 2016

The final four-

Home from egg retrieval and they got 4 eggs.
My original expected number was 1-2 so I'm happy. They were all from the left ovary (which was the lazy one and a slow starter).  The right ovary was a total no-go. I had about 8 mature follies on that side but Bc the fibroid was huge and attached to the scar tissue from my c-section, they couldn't move it to get those other follies-

Overall I'm happy. I'm hoping they all mature and grow accordingly. We are having them fertilized with ICSI so I'm hoping for the best.

August 23, 2016

One more shot needed๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Went in for my blood draw at noon (day before egg retrieval) and At 3:00 I received a call stating my  that my HCG was not as high as they'd like. Hubby had to get one more Ovidrel so I could take it ASAP.

Egg retrieval is still set for the morning though-

Ugh just when I thought no more needles lol

So again I took "my last shot" at 4:30 today-

Now I just have to rest up for retrieval in the morning.

August 22, 2016

Just pulled the trigger!

I'm SO EXCITED!!! No more shots! We just pulled the trigger at 11:45!
Finally it's over! No more needles ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

Missing my mom๐Ÿ’”

I just want to share a few words with those that still have their mom.

Always answer her calls because you'll never know when it'll be her last. I get that moms' ramble and talk even more when you're trying to get off the phone, but just deal with it. It's love.

Be appreciative to the woman who stayed up countless nights with you, cooked for you, clothed you, worried about you and prayed for you. Sometimes they can be overbearing, but it's love.

Never worry about what your mom is not, just bask in all that she is.....I use to wish my mom was more adventurous and wanted to travel more. I was always like "mom I WISH you would do this or that". Now I just wish she was here. We don't even have to talk. I could just sit with her and hold her hands.

I miss my mom and being a mom myself now makes me miss her even more. I wish she could see me "get it". It's like I finally get it but she's not here to see it.

I now know why you loved me so fiercely mom and I thank you.

Mother's Day is everyday so if your mom is still here let her know how much she means to you. Because there's no greater love than a mother's love. ❤️

FINALLY moving forward--

Just leaving the doctor
I'm finally moving forward FOR SURE to my egg retrieval Wednesday morning. I have to be there at 9:45 for check-in and prep and then the procedure starts at 10:45.

Today at 3:00 I'll take my LAST injections!!!!!! Only 3 more shots to go (Menopur, Follistim and Ganierelix) then the trigger shot.

I also took three clomid this morning and I'm done with that-

Tonight I take my trigger shot at 11:45pm

I can't believe I'm finally moving on-
I'm still a bit bummed that I have to wait on my transfer but I'm sure it'll go by quickly especially since we have a vacation in September ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

Boy do I need it!!! I thought I'd be pregnant on they vacation but I guess that just means I get to have a few cocktails and enjoy my off time, then back to baby business when we return.

August 21, 2016


I'm feeling so anxious about tomorrow's appointment. My last few appointments have all ended in a change-

I guess we'll see if my egg retrieval will finally be Wednesday and if so what will be the number retrieved๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Im so tired. I really don't even know what to pray for at this point bc I'm so overwhelmed.
I'll just pray for peace and clarity-

August 20, 2016

Another protocol revision-

Just left my doctor's appointment and today's news was just as unexpected as my last two appointments! Jesus my poor mind is all over the place-

So today my sono still showed all those beautiful mature follicles that I can't touch on the right side but today my left produced some new ones.

This means I may have more than one chance after all. My doctor was so exciting and wants to give those a few more days to grow! So instead of my retrieval being Monday he thinks we should move it to Wednesday. 

However that meant we needed to again buy more medicine!!!! At least another $800-$1000 worth! Tommy shaking his head in agreeance and I'm shaking mine in disbelief.

He also tells me he wants me to add clomid into the regimen for the next few days. 
I was literally so overwhelmed that I just sat staring at him without blinking-

Oh but THE KICKER was he told me he wanted me to just do my retrieval but not the transfer as to give me better chances. So not only move my retrieval date AGAIN, but also added meds and then tells me not to do my transfer! He wants me to wait until my next cycle or the cycle after and transfer with a FROZEN EMBRYO so my uterine lining can have a chance to re-prime due to all the hormones. I was just at a loss of words. REMEMBER MY LAST FROZEN TRANSFER DIDNT SURVIVE THE THAW.

He then follows it up with "if you were my sister id tell you the same thing". He's confident this will be the game changer- 
These changes will give me the best chance for baby #2 Bc at this point we aren't even going to attempt to get the follicles on the right side due to the risk.

So once again we agreed to proceed and follow his suggestions bc after all he is the award-winning Doctor! He's the doctor that mentored my doctor that worked under him when I went through this for Avery-Harper.

I'm just so freaking tired. I don't want to move my retrieval date AGAIN, I don't want to take more meds and have more shots, I don't want to delay my transfer. I just don't understand why it's so hard for some of us but others can just have a baby a the drop of a hat! It's so frustrating. 

The good news is that after my doctor walked back out, he came right back and said we have samples for you so you don't have to buy the expense meds. I only have to buy the clomid which will be less than $25-50 bucks ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

He also told me they wouldn't be charging me for the FET. Not sure why he did all that but I'm grateful for sure. So I'm going to move forward and hopefully I can get pregnant and have this child before 40! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

August 19, 2016

Reached my limit

I think I've reached my limit the last two days.
Yesterday evening I broke out in a rash on my lower abdomen where I get all of my injections. My abdomen was totally inflamed and itching like crazy๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Then today my boobs reached a soreness that I haven't felt since I was pregnant. I couldn't even wear a bra today bc they were so sore.

Oh and the hormones! At this point I'm a raving bitch. I'm super grumpy and easily annoyed!

I'm so ready to move on! I feel so icky and I'm beyond tired-

Praying this was not all for nothing ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ

My 1st Miracle is a BIG helper

Yesterday morning I took these photos before 7am before we started our day. This is how my angel helps me out for my morning and evening shots. Avery-Harper has been so involved in this process even though I've tried to keep it from her. I finally gave in and every morning and at night she asks her daddy "is it time to fix mommy". She wants to help so her job is to hold the alcohol pads and hand them to her daddy after each shot. She always warns him "not to hurt mommy" and she tells me "that it'll be ok mommy, it won't hurt. Daddy is going to fix you". During my shots she watches her daddy very closely and she watches my reaction to make sure I'm ok so I try not to grimace. Then after my shots, with no prompting, she comes over and kisses my boo boo (my stomach) and gives me a hug. She's a major part of why I want this so bad. She desperately wants a sibling and constantly asks if the baby is in there yet. I hope and pray that after this protocol (after my first trimester) that I'll be able to tell her "yes the baby is in there sweetheart".   

                                             So tired but she wakes up on her own to do this                                

 She takes her job very seriously which is holding the alcohol pads

 Hubby getting my shots ready

                                           Follistim (blue), Ganirelix (middle) & Menopur

Shot #1

Shot #2 (shot #3 not pictured)

She gets as close as possible to make sure he's careful

                                                           Kiss to make me feel better

And she ends with a hug :)

August 17, 2016

Should I Cancel.......

I thought Monday's appointment was rough. Well that was because I hadn't made it to today's yet!
After doing my bloodwork, I had my sono and it was still the same problem. All the follies were on the right side with the fibroid which was no Bueno. I only had two on the left side and they weren't as mature as they need to be.

Dr. Le gave a little more insight today as to why trying for the follies on the fibroid side was such a risk.  Basically I have a vein that runs through there which he showed me on the screen. He said he could try to force the needle a bit but if he forced too much and it went though then I could bleed out. My health is first and foremost so neither of us are willing to take that risk.

He told me realistically he can probably get ONE follie from the left side and that would give me ONE chance or I could CANCEL MY PROTOCOL and get a partial refund for the IVF fee which would be $3500 (1/2 of $7000 we paid). So I sat there in tears trying to gather myself and make sense of the devastation I was feeling. Did I really do all this just to have to cancel my protocol????

My husband then took over the convo while I sat in a daze. By the time I returned to my senses the doctor was explaining how he had a woman that had only one follicle as well and now she's pregnant with it. So yes it is possible.

He suggested I keep stim-ing for 3 more days until Saturday then come back in for another sono and move my egg retrieval to Monday. That meant I needed to buy 2 more Menopur ( I actually needed three but they gave me one for today's dose) and 3 Ganirelix. Which after calling the pharmacy came up to another $550 (with a discount)!

After catching my breathe and wiping my tears, We decided to move forward. Buying more meds today and praying everything works out. No point of coming this far just to turn back now. I at least want to know, whether it works or not, that I gave it my all.

August 15, 2016

One or NONE?

I just returned from my doctor's appointment and today's news wasn't that great. My left side is still causing problems due to the fibroids that are covering my follicles. My left side is most active and has the most follies but my doctor said it will be really hard to get to them because they are under the fibroids. Fibroids apparently are hard and needles can't penetrate them. He basically told me it looks like I may have ONE good follicle that has matured in size on my right side. He's hoping he will be able to get in there and find more but he doesn't want me to have high expectations.

He told me he may get a few if he's lucky but mostly likely only one or quite possibly NONE. Hearing him say that was a punch to the gut for sure. Did I really just spend all this money and go through all of this for nothing? I'm trying to remain optimistic but that is not what I wanted to hear. I'm praying for a miracle. Praying that we get our second (or second and third) child.

I don't go back until Wednesday and I will be taking my trigger shot Wednesday evening then my retrieval should be Friday morning. Prayers Needed-

August 13, 2016

So over this-

Rough morning-
Just leaving my doctor appointment for another sono and more bloodwork.
I'm really emotional today. Today is the first day for tears bc I'm starting to get nervous, stressed, anxious etc..... Not to mention I'm super sore. My stomach is bruised and riddled with injection marks. Let's not forget the lovely F'ing wand at my doctor's office which is just awful. I hate that thing. I really hate this entire process. It's just not fair-

The appointment went well I guess-
Follies are there and growing, fibroid may cause problems during retrieval but we will see.
It looks like a may need to reorder some meds which is totally bumming me out. I may need more Menopur and possibly more Follistim. The two most expensive freaking drugs and there's still $500 to pay for the anesthesia.

I'm just feeling blue today-
I'm so tired of these shots and feeling like crap. My appointments are in the morning so they are screwing up my workouts. I'm just ready for this to be over. Praying that it works the first time!

August 11, 2016

Looking Good-

Just leaving my appointment-
Had my blood drawn and a sonogram-
Things are going well. I had a lot of good sized follicles. On the right side however my fibroid is blocking a lot of my follicles so my doctor said it'll be a hard retrieval on that side. He's hoping my ovary will get heavy and push my fibroid down. We will see how it goes. I'm currently on Day5 of Stims and at my appointment my doctor told me to go home and take a full dose of ganierelix starting today and each morning for the next few days.
I go back in for another sono this Saturday and more bloodwork-

My egg retrieval should be next Thursday or Friday then bed rest.
The embryo transfer will be the following Tuesday or Wednesday morning. I'm so excited that everything is moving along in the right direction.

August 8, 2016

Stims have started!!!

Saturday morning I went in for a sono and a another stim medication teaching since its been so long due to my protocol delays.  Everything looked well and I had a good amount of follicles on each side.
I went ahead and paid the remaining $1000 for ICSI plus a $60 fee for a previous lab that I hadn't paid for.

On Sunday morning I started my stim meds. I had to take 150ml of Follistim and Menopur in the AM  and the same dosage in the PM. I also changed my Minivelle patch Sunday night.

As for the shots, they weren't that bad. You could definitely feel the medication and I had slight redness on both sides.

I go back to the doctor Thursday morning for more blood work and instruction on the remaining stim meds and timeline.

August 2, 2016

Damn Minivelle Patch

Sooooooo today I got home from the gym to find that my Minivelle patch (that's supposed to be changed every 4 days) had rolled up like a burrito๐Ÿ˜ฉ
I'm assuming it was due to my workout because I work out 3-5 times a week and I sweat a lot!
I called my doctor's office and they told me I needed to change it. I moved the location down to right above my vaginal area and I'm not sure it's going to work out-

I feel like this is going to be really problematic. I need this estrogen dammit!

August 1, 2016

Finally Moving Forward๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

FINALLY my progesterone levels are high enough! I just got the call from my doctor! My levels were at a 9.2 which was great bc I needed to be over an 8. After three months of setbacks I started my ganierelix and minivelle patch TONIGHT!!!!! We are off to the races people! ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ˜„

So the injection was ok, the needle was short and thin and my hubby was quick. The medicine now that burned a bit. After the injection I put on my Minivelle patch which I'm suppose to change every 4 days.

I also have a sonogram Saturday morning at 8:15 to check the progress-
I'm so excited, anxious, happy and nervous. I'm pretty much every emotion under the sun.

July 29, 2016

Yet another damn setback!!!

I'm so fucking annoyed----
I just am. I'm trying not to be but I'm human and this process is killing me emotional and I haven't even started.

So I went back to the doctor last Friday and things seemed on track. Went back today for my levels to be taken at my doctor's office and the results came back at a 6!!! I need to be at an 8 so nope I won't be starting tomorrow. So now I'm suppose to go back Monday and he's certain the levels will be up. If so, I'll be due to start the ganirelix on Tuesday. I'm so over this. I just feel like I want to quit sometimes ๐Ÿ˜ž

July 20, 2016

Protocol Update

My doctor appointment went well today-
My follicles were much better this week after taking the Femara 2x a day for 5 days-
Im going back on Friday to check the follicle size again. If they are good I'll do the HCG trigger shot on Saturday.

I'll then go back to the doctor on next Thursday to check my progesterone levels. If it is good this time I will finally start my ganirelix. The following week around Aug 7th or 8th I should start my Stims.

Remaining optimistic and trusting in the process ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ

July 18, 2016

Wondering what this week will bring....

Still waiting-
Doctor's appointment on Wednesday and I'm very anxious to see what's going on with my follicles and how the Femara worked out this time. I can't believe I've had such a long delay but anything worth having is definitely worth the wait. I'm so hoping I'll be able to give Avery-Harper a sibling or two. My heart is set on B/G twins or one girl. Let's see what happens๐Ÿ˜

July 13, 2016

More Tears and More Not-So-Great News....

What a frustrating day. Thank God my husband was there to get some clarity for me because I was too overwhelmed.

So today the doctor said things weren't looking great with my ovaries and he couldn't see any follicles on the right side. The numbers stated they were there but he just couldn't see them. He saw I was frustrated and explained why it's best to wait to try one more thug before proceeding-

My husband chimed in with his concerns and expressed that more explanation needed to be given as we are going into our third month with no progress.

The doctor explained that he really wanted my ovulation to work harder to give us the best chances. He wanted to get some extra estrogen priming in me because he believes that works best. After a few tears I pulled myself together because I truly did understand I'm just tired of the wait.

So he prescribed me Femara again but this time 5mg total a day instead of 2.5. I'll take the pills 2x for five days then I'll go back to the doctor on wednesday for another sonogram. We will then do a trigger shot for ovulation and once my menses starts again I'll start Stims.

I guess all and all I just need to be patient and trust my doctor because he's a great doctor.

So here we go again for the third time and hopefully everything will work out-

This time my Femara was $94.99 for 10 tablets-
I wasn't charged for a doctor visit-
I will have to buy another trigger shot though Bc I'll be using the one I bought during the ovulation period-

Lord please keep me optimistic ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

Going back to the doctor today๐Ÿ™„

So this will be my THIRD attempt at starting this IVF protocol! I have no idea what the doctor will say today.

First cycle my ovulation number never reached 8 (only 6)
Second cycle they tried Femara and my number was less than 1
I'm very curious to see what he suggests now-

Some women on my IVF support board were asking why he just didn't give me the trigger shot to help my ovulation. I will definitely be asking that today.

I have all the meds at my home and my IVF fee has been paid so I'm ready to go! I should have already had my transfer by now and I'd actually probably be in my 2ww or I'd just be finding out if I'm pregnant. Prayers for good news and to be able to move forward.

July 2, 2016

Granny in heaven says twins!

My doctor's office called today and basically said I need to wait for my menses again then come into the office and we'll devise a plan. This will be my third cycle since trying to start this IVF protocol.
I'm beyond frustrated but then as I'm watching tv my daughter comes downstairs very excited to tell me that we are going to have TWO BABIES! A boy and a girl! She said her granny in heaven told her so.

So maybe I just need to relax and follow the process Bc my mom maybe caring for my twins in heaven as we speak. Positive thinking.

I love you mom๐Ÿ’•

July 1, 2016

Yet another setback

Just received the call from my nurse and my numbers are even worse than last time!!!
I'm so frustrated. I'm crying and I'm just tired like seriously what is the deal! Last time I was at a 6 and then I had to retest because I needed to be at an 8. So I waited a few more days and retested but my number went down to a 5.

That's when the doctor said I didn't ovulate and I had to wait to next cycle and use femara to help me ovulate. Well I used Femara this cycle and my number was LESS THAN ONE!!!! I mean seriously like I can't even wrap my head around it. Now I have to wait for my doctor to call me tomorrow so we can try something else. God I'm so tired of waiting already.  So many layers to this journey and I'm already tired and we've barely started.


June 30, 2016

Still waiting.....

I went to the doctor last Friday, June 24th and had a sonogram. My follicles and lining were still looking great.

Since then I've been waiting all week so I can go to the lab and check my levels to make sure the Femara helped me ovulate. If it did, I will get a call on Friday then I can start my ganirelix on Saturday. I'm so excited (and nervous) but I'm beyond ready to get this show on the road.

June 13, 2016

Back to the doctor today-

I tell ya my body is really acting weird-
At the wee hours this morning my cycle started! It wasn't due until around Thursday the 16th Bc that's when it came last month,  but here it is on the 13th! Even more odd is that the last at least 11 months my cycle had been coming on the 26th or 27th and now it's nearly two weeks earlier as of today! So weird!

So I called my doctor this morning while at the gym and they told me to come in for a sonogram-
I'm basically starting over with my monitoring etc  since I technically missed my cycle last month by not ovulating which is why I couldn't start my ganirelix.

The sono was fine and everything looked good. The doctor prescribed me femara which I'll start taking this Wednesday. It will ensure my ovulation so I can start my protocol.
I'll go back to the doctor next Friday the 24th to check my progress. Then the following week on the 30th I'll get another lab to make sure I ovulated.  Once that's verified I should officially start my protocol. ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ

I'm remaining positive. I really feel like it's our time to add to our family another healthy happy baby (or two ๐Ÿ˜‰). **faithful**

June 12, 2016

Another Delay....

I received all my meds last Saturday Bc I was suppose to take my first shot of ganirelix and apply a minivelle patch on Tuesday. Well I went to the lab on Monday for my progesterone levels and they were only at a 6. My dr wanted them to be at an 8 so I had to wait and retake my levels on Thursday. Received my results back Friday  and my levels actually dropped to a 5! So instead of starting the injection and patch today my dr said to wait. Once my cycle starts, which should be by  Thursday he wants to put me on femara.

What is femara??
Femara (letrozole) is a medication that is being used more frequently in fertility to assist in ovulation induction.  Femara is a prescription drug that prevents the production of estrogen; this is very beneficial for many women diagnosed with breast cancer. The majority of women with breast cancer have the type of cancer that develops faster in the presence of estrogen. Doctors prescribe Femara because it blocks the body’s ability to produce estrogen and can significantly slow the growth of the tumor.
When Femara is utilized for inducing ovulation, there is a decrease in the amount of estrogen which results in an increase in FSH. The increase in FSH stimulates follicles to grow on the ovaries. Why would we use Femara? We may use Femara in a patient who either did not respond to Clomid therapy or for a woman who has had a negative effect from the Clomid therapy, such as a thin uterine lining.

As of right now I'm just taking my prenatals and blood pressure pills daily while waiting to start my protocol.
So it's basically just a waiting game. I'm kind of bummed bc we are finally ready to do this and delays just keeps happening. It's very frustrating but I will remain positive and hopefully once my cycle starts and I go back in to see my doctor I'll get more answers.

June 8, 2016

The differences in this IVF protocol vs my last-

There a few differences in this fresh IVF cycle vs my last-

  • For one, I'm older...My first IVF cycle was started a couple of months before I turned 35, this cycle is starting a month before I turn 39!!!!

  • My last IVF protocol was standard with birth control and Lupron. This cycle will be a more aggressive protocol with Follistim and Ganirelix (no birth control suppression).
  • Luteal-E2-Antagonist4
    This protocol is our favorite for patients with very low ovarian reserve, or those who have poor response after taking BCP. In this protocol, the pretreatment cycle is a natural cycle (no BCP). About a week after ovulation, a GnRH antagonist (Ganirelix or Cetrotide) is started to prevent premature recruitment of follicles, an effect often seen in premature aging ovaries. In addition, estrogen is used to provides the young follicles an optimal condition to grow in the future. Stimulation medications are stated on day 3 of the next menses and the antagonist would be used again later to prevent premature ovulation.

  • My last IVF was the standard one, this time it will be "IVF w/ ICSI". Here's a ICSI explanation:

    The ICSI Procedure.

    In conventional IVF, after a woman's eggs are retrieved, they are left in a petri dish with sperm in order to achieve natural fertilization.
    ICSI takes place in the IVF lab. Just like with conventional IVF, the female undergoes ovarian stimulation with fertility drugs, and her eggs are retrieved and incubated in the IVF lab. Then, the semen sample is prepared in the centrifuge — the sperm cells are spun through a special medium to separate live sperm from most of the dead sperm and debris. The embryologist then selects a single live sperm, which is injected directly into the egg with a small needle.

    Who Should Use ICSI?

    ICSI is most often used in cases of male factor infertility. The procedure can achieve fertilization when the man has low sperm count, or poor sperm morphology (shape) or motility (movement), or the sperm have trouble attaching to the egg. It can also be used when a blockage in the man's reproductive tract keeps the sperm from getting out, in which case a testicular biopsy is performed, and testicular sperm are used.
    Patients may also choose to undergo ICSI when the male partner has variable sperm counts, there is unexplained infertility, or the couple has failed previous attempts at IVF. In fact, some fertility clinics use ICSI for all fertilizations.
Common reasons used for performing ICSI
  1. Severe male factor infertility that do not want donor sperm insemination.
  2. Couples with infertility with:
    • Sperm concentrations of less than 15-20 million per milliliter
    • Low sperm motility - less than 35%
    • Very poor sperm morphology (subjective - specific cutoff value is debatable)
  3. Having previous IVF with no fertilization - or a low rate of fertilization (low percentage of mature eggs that were normally fertilized).
  4. Sometimes it is used for couples that have a low yield of eggs at egg retrieval. In this scenario, ICSI is being used to try to get a higher percentage of eggs fertilized than with conventional insemination of the eggs (mixing eggs and sperm together).

Slight Delay on Injections

On Monday I went to the lab to get my progesterone levels taken bc I was suppose to start my ganirelix injections on Tuesday.  Well I received my results and it appears that I haven't ovulated yet. he nurse said I may have a longer cycle so that means a longer start toward ovulation. My levels came back at a 6 and my doctor wants it to at least be at an 8.  So I will go back to the lab on Thursday and re-take my levels. I'll have the results back by Friday and if all is well I will start my ganirelix and minivelle that day.

Meds are in!!!

Wow does this bring back memories!! Our meds arrived this past Saturday and so much emotion was brought back when I opened the box! You're looking at $5922.62 of medication! (Included was a $28 overnight delivery fee). If it wasn't real before, it's definitely real now~

June 3, 2016

IVF #2 here we come!

In a mere few days I'll be starting my second fresh IVF protocol. I'm so excited that I literally don't know how to feel. I'm just a ball of emotions right now!

This protocol so far, and hopefully that is all, has cost us $15,000. Our IVF with ICSI fee was $7000 and our meds were $6000. That doesn't include another $500 for the anesthesiologist on the day of the transfer, $250 for trial transfer, $150 for mammogram, $160 OB appointment, $160 lab work, GP doctor visit $90, Progesterone Lab work $60, SA $160, plus other visits/labs etc.

This coming Tuesday I will start my ganirelix and minivelle for week then on to the stim meds. My egg retrieval will probably be at the end of the month then my transfer at the beginning of July. I'm about a month behind my protocol for Avery-Harper so if it is successful their birthdays will be pretty close.

I still can't believe we are finally doing this!

May 28, 2016

One Final Try!

It's been heavy on my heart to try again for baby #2.
We tried the first time in November of 2014 with our only frozen embryo but it did not survive the thaw. We went again in June of 2015 to start the process but my egg reserve was low and I got extremely discouraged and decided to take some time away from the fertility train and refocus. It's been almost a year and during that time my desire for another child has not waivered.

Also Avery-Harper has been asking for a sibling! No pressure right!

So last week on May 18th I went in to have another IVF consult and sonogram. I was on the third day of my cycle and I was very nervous of the information I may receive bc last time it was not good.

Well this time I did my sono and received great news! My uterus looked great and I had lots of follicles! My doctor said everything was really good and in his exact words he said "it's now or never"! We were surprised to hear that even though we knew we were getting older and needed to do something ASAP. We just weren't expecting such a blunt response. So we agreed to push forward. He told us the protocol would be the most aggressive and to come in the following week for a trial transfer.

Before the next appointment hubby and I did our labs, semen analysis for him and pap smear for me!

On the following Wednesday, May 25th we went in for the trial transfer and sonohystergram to make sure there was no blockage. I again was nervous. The last time I did a trial transfer when trying for Avery-Harper they found a polyp and I had to have surgery. This time however it was all clear!!

That means forward ahead we go! I've contacted a few pharmacies they referred me to for pricing on my medicines. Once I have the best pricing, I'll order my meds and pay for IVF fee! I'm set to do my injection demonstration next week! Then progesterone levels on June 6th and on June 7th I will start my injections!!! We are beyond excited!

Our Princess turns 3!!!! Well....a few months ago but nevertheless

I'm 3 months and 2 days late with this post lol
Avery-Harper turned 3 on February 26th and we had a big party on the 28th at Kidville. I can not believe how time has flown! The best three years of our lives!