July 30, 2012

How many babies? One...Two or THREE!!!!

Gotcha! There's only ONE baby guys! One healthy, 178 heart-rate twitching little bean! My doctor said everything measured beautifully, the yolk sack was great, my lining, cervix, etc.....
In his words "I have graduated"!!! I am released to see my OB/GYN from now on until we are ready for another go round for baby #2!

Now my emotions were all over the place. Nothing like I expected! I was prepared for the ugly cry you know the intense sobbing uncontrollably. However, no tears. I looked at the screen and I was in shock. Dare I even say a little disppointed (I'm just being honest). I think b/c I really really really thought I was having twins so when we saw the one it's almost like I had a momentary mourning for the one that didn't make it. I was happy to see the one baby and to hear that amazing heartbeat (it was so fast) but at the same time I kind of felt a loss of the other embryo. Similiar to what I felt when the eggs that were retrieved didn't all make it and then the 8 embryos that we started with dwindled down to only 3. I kind of felt a loss each time. It's hard to explain but hey I'm emotional and hormonal!

My hubby and I went to dinner afterwards and we talked about how I was feeling and then I began to feel better. Now the excitement has kicked back in full swing!! I'm so excited and blessed to have the one I do have doing so well in my tummy. I can't wait to watch him/her grow inside of me and to finally meet this little one. It's truly a blessing!

Expected Due date: March 9, 2013

July 29, 2012

Tomorrow's the BIG BIG Day!

So tomorrow is the big big day! My very first sonogram! We are very excited however today's been an emotional day. I've been really missing my mom. Today she's just been on my mind. I know she would want to be there tomorrow and she'd be really excited. It's just a little bittersweet. There's been a lot of tears today.

However, we are very excited that this day is finally here and we are praying that tomorrow is everything that we have dreamed!

July 25, 2012

WTH....Early Pregnancy Rash!

The last few nights I have been itching my butt off! My legs, arms and tummy mostly! I've been scratching away and I thought it was my sheets so I stripped the linen and washed them...Nope nope nope not it! So I went to work today itching and scratching and I finally took a look. Ow! I had red patches and scratch marks everywhere! Some place were even a little raw. I guess I had been scratching in my sleep also and didn't know it.

So I contacted the nurse and waited for her to call me back and in the meantime I googled! Gee-zus! There are a lot of pregnancy rashes out there http://www.justmommies.com/pregnancy/concerns-and-complications/rashes-during-pregnancy

My nurse called me back and said it's probably just an early pregnancy rash mixed w/ our lovely Texas heat! She told me I could try some Benedryl Topical Cream on the raised areas. I haven't picked any up yet but I did get some Aveeno Oatmeal Bath treatment, Aveeno Bodywash and a new sponge. Got home and had a long soak and I feel much better. If it continues tomorrow I'll go get that Benedryl b/c WOW-ZERS!!! However, even if this is another negative aspect of pregnancy I still see it as a positive, a confirmation. I'm itching but I'll take it!

1. Hubby comes home on Friday night and I can't wait! It's been two very long weeks!
2. My sono is in 4 days!!!! SO EXCITED!
3. No more morning sickness just occasional nausea, breasts are still really sore and I'm still tinkling about 20 times a day (no exaggeration)

July 20, 2012

First Day of Morning Sickness...Kind of Excited!

I know I know, why in the hell would I be excited about morning sickness! My ladies that have been on the fertility journey may understand this more than the ones that get prego by simply being brushed up against!

When you are in the "infertility club" and you finally get that BFP (BIG FAT POSITIVE) you are looking and hanging onto any pregnancy symptoms you can get!!! Until today I've only had extremely sore breasts but no morning sickness or nausea.  Yesterday I had my first wave of nausea where it made me leave my desk and rush to the ladies room. However by the time I got there it was over and nothing transpired.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but today was different! I received that same wave so I high-tailed it to the ladies room again stood against the entry wall and then BAM!!! I hit the stall and "morning sickness" proceeded!
It was pretty harsh but after it was over and I cleaned myself up, I actually smiled to myself like "hey that's a good sign, a pregnancy sign"!!!!!!! 

It made me feel more pregnant, more confirmed and confident especially since I'm still in the waiting phase for my sono. Now I'm not crazy so I'm not saying I want this on a daily basis however when you've been on a journey like this...even the negatives are a positive :)

July 16, 2012

Wife Gone WILD!!!!

Hubby is out of town so it's just me and my huge dog Roman! Operation "Wife gone Wild" is in full effect! I have a girls date almost every night of the week except for tonight (I'm resting)! hee hee
Since the hubs and I spend so much time together I don't go out a lot with my girls. To tell the truth most times I'm too tired and just want to snuggle up to my man.

However, I figured with this free time I'd take advantage of it and connect with my girls. So I have plans Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday! I saved Sunday for Jesus and sleep! lol

On the baby front: Everything is going well. My symptoms are the same, sore boobies, lots of napping, and wanting lots of meat (protein). I still have my little tinges every now and again but I'm feeling fine.

Sono is still set for July 30th at 5pm and we can not wait!!!!

July 11, 2012

35 is shaping up nicely!

After two hours of crying when I first woke up on my birthday I ended up having a great day with my hubby.

He had all these things planned and my dr veto'd most of it! He was so disappointed. However I ended up having a great day anyway. The first thing I was able to do was a prenatal massage. I was absolutely horrified but my husband spoke to my dr and he said it would be fine. I had a wonderful massage and when he picked me up he had a beautiful bouquet of deep purple orchids and purple lilies. He also bought me my first baby book called "The Baby Bump". It's kind of like a hipper take on "What to Expect When You're Expecting". We went to lunch, shopping and our very first baby boutique just to browse. To cap the evening off we went out to dinner that night. It was a nice day for just him and I. It wasn't Jamaica or Mexico but we were together and it was awesome.

Pregnancy Updates: I have 19 more days till my first sono and yes I'm counting down! I can't wait to see what's going on inside my tummy. What is making me pee 7-8 times a night! What is making my nipples so sore that I can't wear a regular bra most of the time. Oh and don't even get me started on the tinges in my tummy! Is it one baby or two! I'm SO excited!! This is going to be a super duper long 2.5 weeks!!!

July 9, 2012

Happy Birthday to me but I miss you mom

I woke up this morning with a heavy heavy heart and my eyes immediately filled with tears. My mom was so heavily on my mind. It's like she was there.  This is my second birthday without her. A big birthday, my 35th birthday.....

I just miss her so much. I have so much I want to tell her and so much I'd like to do with her. Mom, I miss your daily phone calls and check-ins. We spoke on the phone every morning and through-out the day for check-ins and there are days I'm driving to work and I just want to call you so bad mom. I just want to hear your voice.

I already received the greatest gift for my birthday b/c I'm expecting, however it sure would be nice to share this with my mom. She was on this 4 year journey with Tommy and I and she was SO excited about me, her first born, finally wanting children. She talked about it all the time and now that we are finally pregnant she's not here to be a part of it. It's just so bittersweet. I know it'll get easier with time and know I was blessed to have her in my life for as long as I did, but it's just so hard to say goodbye. I miss all of your phone calls, and the jokes you'd try to tell but you always messed up the punch-lines. I miss your extreme planning for holidays that were months away, all of our family dinner and family days. We are really trying to stay close-knit without you mom but it's so hard to be in your house with all your things. It's hard to see daddy without you, he's still so lost and grief-strickened. It's just hard trying to lead normal lives without you around. Oh and days like this...our birthdays where you made such a fuss and treated all of us like we were still young children. We miss that. We miss your unconditional and sometimes overwhelming love for us.

I was so lucky to have you mom, I just didn't know how lucky at the time. Even though we were very close I just hope you really knew how much I truly truly loved you. I hope I told you enough and showed you enough. You were the first and greatest love of my life. My everyday. My inspiration for the woman I am. You taught me everything I know in the 33 years of my life before you passed. I sincerely hope I'm making you proud b/c you always made me proud. I love you mom and I still miss you every.single.day.

I can't wait to make my children's birthdays as special as you made mine.

July 6, 2012

I'm sorry sir I can't go to Jamaica or Mexico...

My 35th birthday is on Monday and as a surprise my husband told me last night he was taking me on a surprise birthday trip! Leaving Sunday and returning on Wednesday! Jamaica or Mexico my choice! He had resorts picked out for both just waiting for my choice.

Only thing is I HATE FLYING!!! When I say HATE, I truly mean HATE! My blood pressure goes through the roof and my anxiety is so bad I literally shake the entire time. I can't go to sleep or relax and I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. I decided my last flight that I'd start taking meds b/f I fly. Well now that I'm pregant I definitely can't be doping up per say! Not to mention I don't want to do anything out of the ordinary while I'm so early in my pregnancy. I'm afraid the spike in blood pressure could cause some negative result and frankly I'm not willing to risk that over a trip that I can take later.

My husband said he understood but I could tell he was a wee bit disappointed last night. However this morning he pulled me close and said that it's really OK and we'll go when I'm more comfortable. Gosh I love that man!

As much as I'd love to go relax on a beach and play in the water I just want to get through this first trimester without worrying if I'm doing something to hurt our baby. After 4 years on this journey no trip is worth the anxiety I'd feel trying to fly somewhere.

Our 5 yr anniversary is in 2.5 months and I'll be in my second trimester by then so maybe we will make it to that beach after all...

July 4, 2012

Pregnancy Symptoms?

Happy Fourth Everyone!!!!

My birthday is in 5 days!!! Woot! I already received the greatest gift of all by finding out I was pregnant! So anything else from here on out is just a bonus! We are going to a nice dinner on Saturday night with our good friends The McPhearsons. Just a quaint little foursome. They just had there first child in March so this will be our first time going out together in a while. I'm off till next Wednesday so I plan to sleep a lot, shop, and hang with my hubby.

The past couple of days have been mind-boggling! OK here are my symptoms:
*I've been feeling really "heavy" in my lower abdomen
*Tinges of pain here and there
*Very sore breasts
*Lower back is always killing me and it's hard for me to get comfortable in the bed
*Last night I got up to tinkle no less than 7 times!!!!!!!

I was like "are you serious" b/c isn't it waaaaaaaay too early for all of this? Are these normal symptoms for any of you ladies? I read that it was normal but I was just wondering if anyone had some personal insight.

Oh and I already look like I'm 3-4 months pregnant due to my lovely steroids! I know it's the steroids b/c my weight hasn't increased much however I can not suck my stomach in AT ALL. I know my case is a little different than most due to all the meds I had to take and are still taking but geez! This is going to be an interesting 8 months!

July 2, 2012

Everything is looking good!

This morning I went in for another blood test. The nurse called this afternoon to tell me that my levels increased over 100%!!! Woo Hoo!!! I was at 120 on Saturday and 249 today! She said normally they like to see an increase of at least 60% so they were thrilled with my numbers.

Our first sono is tentatively set for July 23rd at 4:30pm. However I think I'll be changing it to July 27th or July 30th b/c Tommy is going to be out of town on that date. He said there is no way he is missing our first sono. This is where we see a heart beat and learn if we are expecting one or two babies!!! So as much as I don't want to wait I'll probably have to push it back a bit so the hubs can be there.

Oh I think I had my first real pregnancy symptom yesterday! I was dog-tired and came home after being up for a few hours ended up taking a 4 hour nap! YEAH 4 HOURS! I don't take naps! I'm a "let's be out and about all day" type of girl! So I have to chalk that up to baby or babies!

Now that I have the second set of numbers I'm going to start reading all I can read and learning all I can learn b/c I'm clueless on the pregnancy part! Thanks for all the prayers you guys! Love you all!