June 2, 2012

Now THAT was one hell of a cocktail!

Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I just had my first Bravelle/Menopur/Lupron shot which my nurse calls "a cocktail"! Tommy mixed all the meds just as we were taught and he read all the directions over and over before he mixed. I sat in my normal spot while he pinched the tender part of my stomach together just as he has been doing. I breathed in deeply at the count of 3 and then he stuck the needle in...... now I'm not sure if it was nerves, fear, pain from the meds or just an emotional release of everything I'm going through but I cried like a baby. Actually I wept. It was the first time that has happened and I can't really say what it stemmed from. My poor sweet darling husband. He can not stand to see me cry and to think that he was the cause of it just broke his heart. So he held me and rubbed my head while on his knees in front me. He kept asking what was it??? The needle, the meds, his technique. I had no answers b/c again I was not sure. So what does he do....stick himself. Yes he stuck hisself with the needle to see if it was a difference in size and to check his technique. I gasped! He said it's ok I did the samething with the other needle. I just smiled b/c him doing that just made me feel better. He is just wonderful. He's the reason this is so important b/c he truly deserves to be a father. A child needs to experience the love this man gives on a daily basis. I honestly believe our child(ren) will be the luckiest child(ren) on the planet to have him as their father! With that being said, I have to do this all over again tomorrow and then off to the doctor I go Monday morning to get bloodwork done. This will be only bloodwork (no sono) to see if my cocktail is working. This is quite an emotional ride but if we become parents of a healthy baby or babies it was all worth it regardless of what caused those tears.

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