So this morning I dropped my husband off at the airport at 5:30am for a 7:00am flight. It was so hard to keep my emotions in check but I did pretty good until I drove away. I shed a few quiet tears as we embraced good-bye but driving away was a whole other story. Yep it was nothing pretty about that (shaking my head). Ow!
For 2 weeks people have been asking me "will I be OK" and "what am I going to do without him". I was like Really?????? It's not that big of a deal b/c I can visit, skype and we'll have contact daily, etc. It didn't hit me until Saturday when we started to pack. That's when the first tears fell and there has been waterworks every since. My husband and I are very close and even though I have lots of family and friends, I've come to realize that I really do depend a lot on Tommy. He is my eye-candy, my comic relief, my wrestling buddy, my best friend...he's so much to me and I'm so use to having him around. When I'm sad or just feeling clingy I go to my nook which is right between his neck and shoulder. It's my comfort zone or should I say He is my comfort zone. I thank God I will see him next week for my birthday/vacation. It's only day one (and not even a full day at that) and I miss him already.
We had a very busy last 4 days filled with friends and family. It was really beautiful to see how much support we have in our lives. We capped the festivities off with a final lunch for family and some really close friends yesterday. What I thought might be about 30 people (even though my evite only had 10 RSVPs) turned into a lunch for 50+!!! It was wonderful to witness everyone braving the heat to come out and support my husband. He was very moved by the out pour of love and blessings. After lunch we brought my nephew home with us so we could spend some time together- just us 3. We took him swimming (his favorite pass-time) and he spent the night. Sounds weird I'm sure that we'd spend our last night with a 3 yr old but my husband and nephew are very close-almost like father and son. So explaining to him that he would not physically see "his Buddha" for 3-4 months wasn't happening. His presence is just expected. My husband doesn't put anything in front of Keyshawn, it's a very precious bond. It is going to be really hard once he starts to realize that Buddha (Tommy) is not around. I'm going to let him talk to him via skype though and I hope that helps. Buddha is his comfort and everything that is right in the world. He is definitely his uncle's baby and they have never been apart more than a matter of days. It just hurts my heart b/c I know whenever he sees me he will expect to see Tommy :-(
I've had an over-whelming amount of calls, e-mails and texts just today from friends and family checking on me. It's very sweet. As I'm sitting here it's just so quiet--a different type of quiet though and to think this is only Day 1!!! God give me strength to endure this separation and enjoy the ride b/c after all this is a GREAT opportunity for my husband. I'm so proud of him and I want that to be the focal point of this journey not me so congratulations my love! Knock em dead!