April 29, 2010

A prayer for my brother...

I have a 28 year old brother and he has been in and out of jail since he was 17. We don't know why-he was brought up in a good home in the suburbs by my mom and my wonderful step-dad. I don't know if it was because his dad wasn't around or what, but he rebelled against my step-dad's role in his life. When fathers are not physically in their kids lives; when and if they decide to pop back up they assume the role as "friend" instead of parent. They just want to be cool I guess in hopes that you will forget how they screwed you over when you really needed them. At 17 he went to live with his biological dad who did just that and it went south from there. Long story short-he stole a car and then got spooked by the cops and it turned into a chase. He was sentenced to a year in jail and 10 years probation. That was his first offense and he just never stayed on a good path after that. He is truly a good person and has a good heart he just made some very bad and very DUMB decisions.

My brother has been in jail this time for almost 3 1/2 yrs. During that time his son was born who is the splitting image of him as a child. He gets out of jail and off probation in 18 days!!!!!! We have become very close---closer than we were when he initially went in. I understood why we had distance and so did he but now we are hoping to get back to the relationship we had as youths. When my mom divorced his dad my brother was in kindergarten and I was in the 3rd or 4th grade. My mom worked two jobs to support us when she was a single mom. So it was just me and him most of the time. I taught him how to swim, ride a bike, skate and even fight! We were all we had back then so we were thick as thieves.

I still see him as the little boy that got in trouble when he was just 17. Sometimes I even see him as the 4 yr old that would knock on my bedroom door when he was afraid at night. He'd be standing there in his pajamas with the feet in them asking if he could sleep with me. It became a nightly thing and even at 8 yrs old I knew that this 4 year old felt safe with me. The same security I gave my little brother back then is what I'm now giving to his 3 yr old son. That amazes me! I want so much more for my brother and I truly hope he wants it for his self. Most people talk a pretty good game when they have time to sit and think but his actions will speak the truth once he is home.

This has been 10 long years of back and forward-- in and out of jail and it is too much stress on us. Funny how other people do the crime but the family also ends up paying.

I love my brother and he will forever be the little boy I used to protect and teach.

My prayer for you~

I pray that you come home mentally stronger than when you left
I pray that you are a good father and show your son a better way than you were shown
I pray that you do not get discouraged because there are a lot of obstacles ahead
I pray that you put your family first and become the man we know you can be
I pray that you listen and allow God to watch over you and your decisions in life
I pray that your son doesn't have to grow up without you in his
I pray for you because I love you and I want you to succeed
I pray for you because you're my brother...

You're my longest relationship (besides mom). We have shared a life together and it used to be really good. I miss the days of matching pajamas and co-sleeping on Christmas eve and vowing whomever woke up first would wake up the other. I hope we leave this world with the same closeness that we had in our youth. I love you brother and I'm rooting for you so I hope you're rooting for yourself.

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