Talk about your BAD and DESPERATE days! Gosh I was a freaking emotional maniac yesterday!
I guess I could have just deleted that horrible blog but hey this my journey and one day when I look back on this I want to remember everything. The HIGH HIGHSSSSS AND THE low lowwwwwww!
I came un-glued last night and my husband had a "COME TO JESUS" meeting with me and I needed it. I was lost and becoming more desperate as each minute passed. He said things to me that he said before but this time I believe I really heard him. I listened...I absorbed...I accepted. I released most of the guilt I felt about the whole infertility thing. Honestly I wouldn't love my husband any less if he was the one with the issue. So why couldn't I believe he didn't love me any less, or that he didn't regret marrying someone who was infertile. He married me for ME not to have kids. So after thinking about my life I realized that I LOVE being married and I can't jeopardize our happiness. We are already a "family" just me and him and if children come we'd love it but if they don't we LOVE each other. Frankly, that's all I need.