3rd Shot was much better!

Wow! Thank God for ice! I really appreciate all the suggestions ladies! I did the icing before and after and it helped tremendously! No tears today! My eyes just watered slightly but I think it was just b/c I was closing them so tightly I busted a tear duct! lol I can't tell you all how relieved I am that the shot wasn't as bad as the previous two days!!!! One thing is for sure I can definitely feel the increase in medicine. I feel all warm and tingly inside. I had my shot about 45 minutes ago and I can still feel it. Let's hope the increase in dosage does what they need it to do. I'll check-in after Thursday's Dr. Appt. Ta Ta for now...

First Post "Cocktail" Dr. Appt-

This morning hubby and I went to our first Dr. appt today to get my blood work checked to see how the "cocktail" shot is working. We got there at 8:00 and were out by 8:15 w/ just a few minutes of a wait time so it was really quick. The nurse drew my blood and said they'd call today to give me my dosage for tonight. I guess basically to let me know if anything increases, decreases or just stays the same. We also inquired about the extra drop of medicine that remained in the syringe on Saturday and Sunday. The nurse said that is normal and not to fret over it. I guess she could tell that we were worried being that we brought in last night's syringe to show her exactly what we were talking about! lol I mean it's pretty important to us since we are paying over $200 per shot! Heck that drop was about $20 or something! Oh and no I did not forget to ask about the BURNING sensation that I feel during the injection! I asked two of my girlfriends last night to get their experiences and technique. They both mentioned icing the area before the shot and to push the meds in slower. We asked the nurse her suggestions and she said that it's the Menopur that burns and that icing before and after may help some. However, it's still going to hurt so we will just continue to push through and I'll try not to cry every night. I really do think it's just my emotions and not really the pain of the shots. The nurse called at 3:00pm and my levels went from a 32 to a 76. Going in the right direction BUT not high enough. They would have liked to see me in the 100's. So my dosage was increased by one additional Bravelle. So for tonight, tomorrow and Wednesday I will be taking 4 Bravelle, 1 Menopur and 5ml Lupron. Then back to the Dr. at 8am on Thursday for blood work and then back that afternoon at 4:45 for a sono. Whoa! The nurse said the increase should do it. She also said that it is not uncommon to have to increase and decrease meds, which is why you have to go for monitoring. I'm trying hard not to get nervous. I'm just going to relax and go with it. No sense stressing over something you can not change, right?

Day 2 of "The Cocktail"

Another horrible shot experience. Just as yesterday we had about a drop of medicine that we could not get out of the syringe. I'm not sure if that's normal but we'll definitely ask our nurse in the morning when we go for bloodwork. The medicine definitely burns. I wasn't sure yesterday b/c I was so emotional but I'm definitely sure today! I can't believe I'm only on day two. Lord give me strength.

Now THAT was one hell of a cocktail!

Ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I just had my first Bravelle/Menopur/Lupron shot which my nurse calls "a cocktail"! Tommy mixed all the meds just as we were taught and he read all the directions over and over before he mixed. I sat in my normal spot while he pinched the tender part of my stomach together just as he has been doing. I breathed in deeply at the count of 3 and then he stuck the needle in...... now I'm not sure if it was nerves, fear, pain from the meds or just an emotional release of everything I'm going through but I cried like a baby. Actually I wept. It was the first time that has happened and I can't really say what it stemmed from. My poor sweet darling husband. He can not stand to see me cry and to think that he was the cause of it just broke his heart. So he held me and rubbed my head while on his knees in front me. He kept asking what was it??? The needle, the meds, his technique. I had no answers b/c again I was not sure. So what does he do....stick himself. Yes he stuck hisself with the needle to see if it was a difference in size and to check his technique. I gasped! He said it's ok I did the samething with the other needle. I just smiled b/c him doing that just made me feel better. He is just wonderful. He's the reason this is so important b/c he truly deserves to be a father. A child needs to experience the love this man gives on a daily basis. I honestly believe our child(ren) will be the luckiest child(ren) on the planet to have him as their father! With that being said, I have to do this all over again tomorrow and then off to the doctor I go Monday morning to get bloodwork done. This will be only bloodwork (no sono) to see if my cocktail is working. This is quite an emotional ride but if we become parents of a healthy baby or babies it was all worth it regardless of what caused those tears.

A new chapter in the making, another closing.

Today is the last day of school for my nephew. He started there last year for the summer program and then I let him remain there for Pre-school. They have been really sweet and it's a family environment which I loved. Key felt safe there and he loved his teachers and friends. I explained to him that he would not be seeing them anymore b/c school was out and he'd be attending a new school for Kindergarten. So this morning we went to the store to get a cake (which he had decorated in power-rangers), juice and flowers for his teachers as a thank you and a good-bye. It's definitely bitter-sweet but we have some changes in the making. This evening Key will go with his bio-mom for 30 days for a summer visit. She has never had him over a 4 days period besides the first two weeks of his life. I'm so nervous but I know God will watch over him. After he returns he will be going to spend the remainder of the summer with his dad (my brother). After summer concludes he will remain with his dad. My brother wants the chance to raise him and wants his son to live with him and I understand that because he has never had the chance. His life is now on track and he is settled. He has a live-in girlfriend who has a son Key's age and they are also expecting a son together in the next few months. My nephew loves his dad and I feel this is a good thing for their bond. I never want my nephew to feel that he was not wanted. So my husband and I put our own selfishness to the side to do what is in the best interest of Key. We will still have him on the weekends and extended periods of time as we did before he lived with us full-time. I will retain legal custody of him while monitoring his transition and a couple of years down the road if everything remains smooth I'll transfer custody back to my brother. I'm definitely going to miss seeing that little face everyday but hopefully soon we will have a little cousin or two for Key to play with and swoon over b/c he loves babies. Having him for a year and right after my mom passed was like therapy for me. I actually think I needed him more than he needed me. Nevertheless no matter where he is or how old he is, he will always be "aunnie's baby". Our home will always be his and if he ever needs to return our door is always open.