Polyp removal surgery went GREAT!

Well my surgery on Friday went really well. My husband said I was in and out! Went into surgery at 12:30 and was home by 3:30. I took one pain med on Friday afternoon b/c my husband made me! However, I didn't feel any pain. I tinkled A LOT on Friday but besides that I couldn't even tell that I had surgery. Yesterday I felt wonderful! I went to lunch, shopping and hung out with my girlfriend for like 5 hours. No pain, no nothing. In the middle of the night I had slight bleeding and light cramping but I still feel great. Tomorrow evening I start my first injectable Lupron! I'm so excited! I ordered 1/2 of my meds on Friday and they were delivered on Saturday around 10am. Due to the unexpected expense of the surgery I couldn't just order $3000 worth of meds so I ordered what I needed to start and I'll order the rest in a week or so. My egg retrieval should be around June 14th according to my doctor which is less than a month away and frankly I just can't believe that! So the road to baby is in full effect, full steam ahead!

I need a wutttttt.....Hysteroscopic Polypectomy! Ugh!

So yesterday afternoon I went to my fertility doctor to get my sonohystogram (trial transfer) and lessons on my injectables etc.... The doctor was in surgery when I got there so we went through the injectable teaching first. Can you say OVERWHELMING!!! GEEZUS it's a lot to take in! My husband's eyes were going crossed and I think I blacked-out! We sat in the office for a full hour getting detail by detail!! Luckily the nurse is amazing and made us feel like there was no question too simple to ask. I LOVE her! She's awesome! After the lesson the doctor had returned and we went in to get started on the sonohystogram! As soon as he inserted that lovely wand thing-a-ma-gee-ga there it was....a freaking polyp! Not only was there a polyp but it was right in the way of where they'd want to implant the embryo! So while I'm still in shock, my doctor nonchalantly says we just have to schedule a quick SURGERY for this Friday to remove it! Gasp! Ummmmmmmmmmm what?! (SMH) Yeah so not only do I have to have an unexpected surgery on Friday but it is also going to cost me around $2500!!!!!!!! Yeah I said it $2500!!!! Oh and that's not the best part, I also have to order my meds on Friday which is another whopping $3000! Yes all in one week! I almost passed out right then and there! I was prepared for the meds of course but not for another $2500! You know being that I'm not rich and all! They have to put me under anesthesia and boy do I hate anesthesia! I just loathe the way I feel when I'm coming out of it!!! The BRIGHT side as my doctor says is when they go in to remove the polyp they are going to scrap my uterine wall which will make it super sticky the next month and that will help the embryo implant even more. My doctor said they normally do that for FET cycles, once a fresh one has failed. So getting this surgery could actually increase my chances of a successful implantation. So if there is a bright side, that was it! lol Thank God my doctor does the trial run! Surprisingly enough, I heard some doctors do not! Can you imagine finding that sucker the day of the real transfer!!!! I would have seriously had a fit! Anyway, so basically on Friday at 12:30 Central I'll be in surgery. Wish me luck guys as the journey to baby continues...

IVF here we come!!!! Next stop...Motherhood!

OMG the day has finally come!!! We are officially on our IVF journey. A journey that has been 4 years in the making! I'm going to be keeping a running diary on this special journey right here! For those who are familiar with the process I started my cycle on Saturday and I'm now on CD3. I had a dr appt at 3:45 today for my baseline sonogram and I also started my birth control this evening. My next appt is next Tuesday the 15th at 3:30 for my Sonohystogram and Trial Transfer. That's when they measure my uterus and do a "practice run" transfer. I'll be going to my fertility doc every week for about 6 weeks and hopefully at the end of it all we will be pregnant! WE ARE OVER-THE-MOON EXCITED!!! Something like a Miracle, yes indeed!

The Comeback Kid!

It's been almost a year since my mom passed and I've been trying to juggle dealing with my grief, being a wife and still being infertile and deciding whether to pursue IVF or not.

As for my grief, it's been on levels that unless you lost a mother you can't even comprehend. Some days are good and some are horrible but by the grace of God I'm still here and still sane.

Oh and I'm raising my 5 yr old nephew. Yes he has been living with us full-time since last June and I have custody of him. He'll continue living w/ us until my brother gets on his feet. It's been a blessing. I've always been more than the regular aunt b/c of our situation but since last June I've been a full-time 24/7 auntie-mommy :)

Now that I can focus a little better I decided to return to my blog. Honestly, I've missed it. Even though blogging has been the furthest thing from my mind I realized it is therapeutic. Frankly, I can't have enough therapy now-a-days!

So now that 2012 is three months in and I have some living catch up on. Last year was a huge blur. I call it the lost year but now that the blinders are coming off I plan on living. It's time I start enjoying my life again because that is what my mom would want for me.

So life...get ready, I'm making a comeback!

April 19th..The day I lost my mom.

I've been trying to write this blog for what seems like a year. The thought of it always sent me into a fit of tears. However, writing is therapeutic and I just have to get through it. I'm going to make this pretty short, shorter than that day was for me.

On Tuesday, April 19, 2011 my mom passed away very unexpectedly. I spoke to her that morning at 8:30am, but I had to cut the conversation really short because I was walking into my office. We chatted like two minutes about Easter and hiding eggs for my nephew. I told her I'd call her back around lunch-time so we could finish up the plans. I never spoke to her again after that. My dad and sister got home about 1:30pm and she was on the couch looked to be napping but she was gone. Her heart just stopped. Nothing disturbed in the home, no struggle, nothing. That was the most devastating day of my life. My mom gone. How could this be she wasn't sick, she was strong and always ready for a party or a day out on the town. My mom and my dad had just went to a jazz festival that Friday, she hung out Saturday with her sisters church on Sunday...just like normal so how could this be?

She was diagnosed with Congested Heart Failure like 10 years ago but she took meds daily and had just had a Dr. appt about 2 weeks before and she was fine. My mom turned 57 on March 1st and was gone from our lives one month and 18 days later.

My mom was so vibrant not sickly at all. Loved her family and was the core of our lives. I regret so many things about that last conversation...I didn't say I love you when we got off the phone and I was rushing her off b/c I had to get to work. I would have told her so many things had I known our time was so limited.

The words "shocked to the core" pale in description when I think of losing my mom. I was not prepared to navigate life without her. I knew she wasn't immortal but I just never thought I'd lose my mom this early in life. She was my longest relationship, my first love so to think she would leave me like that is unbearable. I still cry everyday at some point of the day....not all day but every.single.day.

I pray for strength and understanding b/c I'm angry that she is gone. I know I'll make it through because she raised me to be strong and resilient. Even with that upbringing I'm still human. She was my mom...this is just something I could have never prepared for in a million years.

I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I miss her every.single.day.